What it's about

          Well what I told everyone it was going to be about was 1) to learn French, and 2) to push myself out in the world to experience new things. What I didn't realize was that I didn't actually KNOW what this second part would entail. I thought I knew, Don't get me wrong!
          Up until this week, it's been easy to take the easy way out of intimidating situations--of which there are plenty: "Oh, I can't be too hard on myself, I just got here, I can't expect myself to be able to do that" for example. But there are three things I did this week that I'm really proud of, and all of them had to do with getting rid of that easy way out. They probably seem really small, but to me they are a big deal because they mark three times I have done something to expand my comfort zone and expand my experience. If you care to know them, fellow traveler (for if you are still here, that is what you are), then read on!
          Big Thing #1: I informed the woman who owns the apartment I live in (hereafter, Madame S) that I would be moving. The housing coordinator at my Center said she could call Madame S, or that I could be the one to do it if I wanted to. I immediately felt like I would be doing the easy thing by letting her do it for me--it would be a hard conversation to have, what if Madame S was confrontational, what if I hurt her feelings?? At the same time, though, I was responsible; I was the one who had brought myself and the situation to this point. It would only be right to call. Not only that, but I wanted to thank Madame S for her hospitality so far--I'm no ingrate. So I said I wanted do it.
          No less than SIX times did I hesitate, a real hesitation, with a clear vision of the call being made by someone else while I breathed a sigh of relief in the background, relief that it was all being taken care of.
          But wait a minute!!! I did not come to Paris so that my life would be taken care of for me!!! I came to Paris so that I could take my life into my own hands!!! Besides, it would only have to be on the phone, because remember, Madame S lives in Normandy with her husband and rarely returns to her apartment. SO I MADE THE CALL...
          ...only to find out that Madame S was on a train to Paris. Zoiks, to say the least. Well I couldn't chicken out at this point. So when she got home that evening (to be precise, yesterday evening, the night of September 17th), I broke the news. Well she wasn't happy and there was a bit of a fiasco regarding a contract and me calling the Center and the housing coordinator at all hours of the night, but it is on it's way to being worked out and THAT ISN'T THE POINT!!!
          The point is, I told her myself, even though I could have gotten away without doing it. I thanked her for having me, and I didn't go into any unpleasant details about mice or claustrophobia or anything. And I was proud of myself. And the next day, the housing coordinater told me that when she spoke with Madame S afterwards, Madame S told her that she was really impressed and touched that I told her in person, even though I didn't have to. So that felt like the universe was patting me on the back, too, instead of just me! lol.
          Big Thing #2: I went out with a group of French people. Like out, to socialize. I was planning on having dinner with a neighbor (just us two) when she called and asked if we could meet her friends for dinner near the Bastille. Without thinking, I said sure I'd love to. After thinking a bit (and isn't that always the beginning of the downfall??) I realized what I had agreed to. A few hours with rapid-French-speaking people in their own element who are already friends, and who would look at an outsider with likely contempt!!!
Again, I stuttered about six times mentally. I had a chance to cancel--fake an illness, a scheduling conflict, whatever. But again--SHUT UP BRAIN! Are you a weakling?? Are you scared?? Did you come to Europe to hide in a lonely room for four months?? I DON'T THINK SO!!!
          So I went. It was scary, definitely. But it was also really fun! I made a fool out of myself. But afterwards, I felt great.
          Big Thing #3: Class. Class at a real French university. This blog post is getting long, so I'll keep it short. Twice this week I went to class, and one of those classes turned out to be one I'm really looking forward to. Today I found out that that very class is going to involve quite a few presentations (oral presentations, given to the rest of the class!) and a lot of research (and all in French, of course). Can you guess? About six times I thought about leaving after the class was over and not coming back--after all, it's not obligatory that we take any classes at the French university. But I stayed. And what's more, I talked to the professor after class and she was totally understanding about me being a study abroad student. SO THERE, STUPID SCARED PART OF MY BRAIN!! TAKE THAT!!
          Thanks for letting me share my victories with you, dear reader, whoever you may be! Hope all is well with you. Until next time!

Bisous,
Shan